Off the Record: An Update from the Editorial Trenches
A few days ago I visited my osteopath.
As I was lying face down on the treatment table, he made what seemed, at the time, to be an entirely innocent and socially obligatory mistake.
“So... how’s work going?”
There was a brief pause.
Then, to my considerable surprise (and I suspect even greater surprise to my osteopath), an extraordinary torrent of profanity erupted from somewhere deep within my soul.
It was impressive.
Creative.
Almost poetic.
I don’t think either of us knew I possessed such an extensive vocabulary.
Poor man.
He’s probably still recovering.
The source of this entirely unexpected linguistic event is something called The Spiderweb Order Lexicon.
Now, before anyone imagines I’ve been quietly compiling the complete work, let me offer some perspective.
Not all eighty concepts.
Just the first twenty-five.
Surely, I thought, that would only take a week.
Those of you who have ever attempted to publish anything are welcome to laugh at me now.
One week somehow became two.
Two quietly became three.
It turns out writing the entries was only the beginning.
Then came design decisions.
Publication platforms.
Formatting.
Typography.
Discovering that every platform has its own opinion about margins.
AI proofreading systems that were absolutely convinced my original concepts would be much better if they were rewritten into conventional academic disciplines—the very thing the lexicon is trying not to do.
Meanwhile, I had the audacity to become ill.
Recovery has been slower than I’d hoped, which has made the entire process feel rather like climbing a mountain wearing lead boots.
And, of course, there are my two determined bulldogs, who remain entirely unconvinced that publishing deadlines should interfere with walks, games, or the enormous quantities of snuggle time they believe are essential to civilisation.
They are probably right.
Some days this project has felt less like publishing and more like military logistics.
A campaign fought simultaneously against software, typography, editorial perfectionism, AI, fatigue, and two very persuasive bulldogs.
Fortunately, I can now see the finish line.
The lexicon has entered its final editorial pass, which means the battle is, at long last, turning in my favour.
I wanted to write this brief note simply to reassure everyone that I haven’t disappeared.
I’m still here.
Still working.
Still ridiculously excited to finally share this project with you.
Once the lexicon is published, The Quiet Line will return to its regular rhythm.
Thank you for your patience while I’ve been buried under a mountain of definitions, formatting quirks, and editorial rabbit holes.
It has taken considerably longer than I ever imagined.
It has also been one of the most rewarding projects I’ve ever undertaken.
As for my osteopath...
If he’s reading this, I’d like to apologise for expanding his understanding of the English language.
And perhaps next time...
We’ll stick to discussing the weather.
